Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize