I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
