can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
