Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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