i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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