I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
