Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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