the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
