he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize