Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
