Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.