in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless