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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.

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• 

  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....

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• (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them

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• 

  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (905): View more from Ontario

  yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.

  (512): View more from Texas

  Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"

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