Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.

  (951): View more from California

  sound pretty economical

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood. (951): sound pretty economical http://tfl.nu/xtyc
  Replies (11) Good night (3166) Bad night (679)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you. http://tfl.nu/w1fj
  Replies (26) Good night (5092) Bad night (1075)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed. http://tfl.nu/us0c
  Replies (59) Good night (2124) Bad night (3757)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying http://tfl.nu/xlhu
  Replies (25) Good night (2214) Bad night (6166)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on. http://tfl.nu/yhjx
  Replies (5) Good night (627) Bad night (3868)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday. http://tfl.nu/vkd1
  Replies (5) Good night (6076) Bad night (1313)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing http://tfl.nu/j7xf
  Replies (26) Good night (5816) Bad night (1665)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked http://tfl.nu/4oxw
  Replies (6) Good night (3867) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes. http://tfl.nu/atub
  Replies (9) Good night (626) Bad night (2574)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick http://tfl.nu/ym1u
  Replies (9) Good night (1967) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with. http://tfl.nu/g52q
  Replies (8) Good night (946) Bad night (1422)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks. http://tfl.nu/32c2
  Replies (5) Good night (1111) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win? http://tfl.nu/gfqe
  Replies (12) Good night (825) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (962): View more from

  bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (962): bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in? http://tfl.nu/wfoe
  Replies (1) Good night (688) Bad night (237)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!! http://tfl.nu/og4z
  Replies (1) Good night (488) Bad night (180)

Randomize