Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I love black thongs
Plan B is the new Plan A
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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