those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
