Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I enjoy the company of your penis
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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