I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
