I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
