and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
