I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize
