Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize