My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Someone shattered a urinal.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
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