Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
