how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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