I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
