I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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