just tell him i said nine months
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize