I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
