She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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