Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She's the barista slut.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
