You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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