Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
