In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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