4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Drunk is a universal language darling
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