its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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