I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
