After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
