At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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