they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize