im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I can't turn off my feet"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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