I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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