I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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