o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
