Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
