You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
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