no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
