My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
