Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
