i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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