btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
It all started with a game of naked twister.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
