i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
