i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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