If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Randomize
