Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
