i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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