in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
There are leaves in my underwear?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
