yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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