I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
