dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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