'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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