When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
