i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
