well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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