I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
