Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
