the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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