Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i love accidental penises.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
