I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize